Merry Christmas!

Monday, December 10, 2012

Dismissed

Since no one reads this, I feel more liberty in saying...

I am tired of not being heard.
I have been dismissed for years.

As a teenager, I was told that it was my "thyroid talking" when I tried to express myself.

Later, it was that I was p.m.s.-ing.

Maybe there is a little truth to the hormone thing. I'm definitely not denying that hormones affect me.

I wish that I could be more like my friend. She says it like it is, but she is the nicest person I know. You don't have to wonder where she is coming from - she'll tell you straight up!

It's my fault, really. I have a reputation of not standing up for myself. People are shocked when I occassionally do say something.

I am not a confrontational person; I enjoy peace. Therefore, I evade and avoid certain people, subjects, or situations that cause tension or stress. I have walked on eggshells for others many times in my life. I am usually the one who backs down or apologizes - even when I don't feel I did any wrong. I care about others and how they feel. I just wish everyone was considerate of other people.

I feel that if a person respects you, they will not intentionally do the things that bother you or take advantage of you. I try to be patient after I ask someone to please do/don't do suchandsuch. I have a "long fuse", so to speak. I let things go for a while, until I blow. I am not proud of this.

So, what can I do to be heard? I don't want people to be blown away when I say something. I don't want to hurt anyone. I just don't want to be dismissed. I want to be taken seriously. Respected. Is that too much to ask?


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